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On May 14, 1940, when the Fellowship had only a few hundred members, an A.A. member in Akron sent a message to his sponsor, whom he called Willie. He referred to the fact that they had met five years earlier and added, “I shall never cease to be grateful to you and am very glad I have been able to pass the good word along.”
This was Dr. Bob writing to Bill W., expressing gratitude for the historic meeting on Mother’s Day, 1935, that led to his own sobriety and to the founding of Alcoholic Anonymous. Dr. Bob never lost his gratitude to Bill, though both knew that Bill had sought him out in 1935 primarily to maintain his own precarious sobriety.
The premium that A.A. members put on gratitude led to the custom of designating November as “gratitude month.” (In Canada, it’s October). This practice started in the 1940s, when the General Service Board held small “gratitude dinners,” which were replaced in the 1960s by bigger and more elaborate “gratitude luncheons.” These affairs, which Bill W. would address, were occasions for A.A. members to express their appreciation for the program. More important, it was A.A.’s opportunity to meet with members of the media to thank them for their cooperation and support.
According to a G.S.O. memo at the time, the aim of the functions was, “to advance A.A.’s public relations by bringing editors, publishers, writers and broadcasters in personal contact with sources of reliable information on the movement.” The luncheons, which were later deemed too expensive, ended in 1968.
Why November became Gratitude Month in the U.S. is uncertain. It may have something to do with Bill W.’s mistaken notion for a time that his sobriety began in November, instead of its actual date of Dec. 11. Then again, it might have had something to do with November being the month when Thanksgiving is celebrated.
Some groups will hold Traditions meetings in November to remind themselves of the rich heritage of A.A. Others conduct topic meetings on the various aspects of gratitude, such as “gratitude is not passive” or “giving it away.” A few group's take this opportunity to hold a “movie evening,” showing films like Markings on the Journey or Bill’s Own Story. During the year, many members of the Fellowship send a gratitude gift of one or two dollars for each year of sobriety on their anniversaries to their local [I]ntergroup or to the General Service Office.
A look at the amount of written material dedicated to the subject of gratitude underscores its importance to A.A. members. Typing “gratitude” into the search engine of the A.A. Grapevine Archive will produce close to 1,600 articles related to it. As Bill Sees It has 17 items listed under the heading of gratitude. The personal stories on the Big Book also reflect the grateful feelings of their authors.
But few expressed it as well as Dr. Bob in his last major talk, given in Detroit in 1948. With more than 13 years’ sobriety, he must have awed the members who came to hear him. There’s little doubt that they went out of their way to praise and thank him. But he took little credit for his recovery. “I don’t believe I have any right to get cocky about getting sober,” he said. “I can feel very thankful that I was privileged to do it. I may have contributed some activity to help, but basically, it was only through His kindness. I should never cease to be grateful for whatever blessings come my way. And I have been blessed in very large measure.”
When he gave that talk, Dr. Bob had less than two years to live. But we can believe that he was grateful up to the moment of his last breath.
via, Box 459
Sponsorship - The Gift of Time
One alcoholic sharing experience, strength and hope
with another is the heart of Alcoholics Anonymous
I was sober about eight months when Charlie began to call. I met him at a young people’s conference. (What was he doing there?) He would call me every morning to ask, “What kind of day are you going to have?” “An excellent day,” I would reply (even though I didn’t really believe it). When he asked, “Why?” I would reply, “Because I am not going to drink today.” Charlie would call me regardless of whether I was working that day. It made no difference if I wanted to sleep in or had the day off. Most days he would call in the evening to see how my day went. I was twenty-three-years old, fresh out of a long-term treatment facility and I was on my own is a strange town. My face was badly scarred from my last car accident and my insides were badly scarred from a life of drinking fear and hate. Charlie was in his sixties, had false teeth, wore strong ties and smiled all the time. He was known as the “Official Handshaker” and would stand by the door at meetings and shake hands with everyone. He wouldn’t leave me alone. He and my sponsor formed a sober tag-team. They made me get involved and stand at the meeting door to shake hands. When it was time to share and I hadn’t raised my hand, I would get a tap or and elbow. I eventually learned that Charlie was my sponsor’s sponsor, or my “grand-sponsor.” They gave me their time. They would listen to me. Charlie would peak in stories that I didn’t really understand until later (and to be honest, some I still don’t understand). I often lost patience but they didn’t care. It gradually dawned on me that these men loved me. They would make me laugh and made light of my problems. One time as I complained about their uncaring attitude, Charlie told me, “If I didn’t love you and think your were worth it, I wouldn’t spend my time with you.” I began to learn the difference between my understanding of love and A.A. love. It isn’t always “warm fuzzies” and kid gloves and pats on the back. Sometimes it is the truth. I was told that sometimes a good sponsor disturbs the comforted and comforts the disturbed. If have now been sober almost four years. I try to stay active and enthusiastic in A.A. My life is wonderful compared to the hell I used to live in. I have a good job. I recently got engaged and got a dog. Charlie died over a year ago – I tried to shake everyone’s hand at the memorial service. I cried a lot but I feel as though he is still with me. Charlie and A.A. have left me with an obligation. I do feel a sense of obligation to Alcoholic Anonymous. I can “pay back” A.A. by trying to be there for the next person to come through the door. I can give myself and my time. I can stay active and pay attention to the Traditions. I’m not perfect and I will never balance the ledger, but I can keep trying. After all, someone was there for me.
J.J., Dover, PA via, The Grapevine, June 1991
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